Women deserve respect, not patronising

DEAR News Of The Area,

WHY do shop assistants and supermarket checkout staff think it is in any way acceptable to call women – especially older women – by pet names such as “Dear”, “Sweetie”, “My lovely” “Darl”, “Love” “Pet” and so on.

I’ve heard people make the excuse that they’re just being friendly.  But it’s actually being offensively over friendly and disrespectful.

It’s a patronising and demeaning way to address anybody, unless it’s someone you have a close and affectionate relationship with.

Otherwise it implies a one-up, one-down relationship, with the user of such terms obviously feeling superior.

To the receiver, it feels like being treated like a child or patted on the head like a pet dog or, for those with grey hair, someone who has lost their marbles and needs jollying along.

I’ve had men tell me that these terms are actually a compliment and I should be pleased.

I wonder how they would feel if I called them something patronising like “boy” or “sonny” or “my man”.

Whenever I politely request not to be addressed in such terms, the reaction on the part of the offender is is usually defensiveness and hostility. How dare I object!

We are all urged to treat retail staff with politeness and respect, and rightly so.

But respect works both ways.

Surely addressing customers respectfully should be the first law of customer relations training for all businesses?

I know I’m not alone here. There are legions of us older women who cringe every time we go shopping, but are too polite to call it out.

I wonder what would happen if we all decided to band together and take action – like abandon our proposed purchases or full trolleys at the first hint of a “Darl” or a “Dear”, or better still, boycott the store altogether. And tell the manager why.

Regards,

Carmel Tapping,

Port Macquarie.